I believe I now have the courage to tell you my deepest secret…a secret that not more than 5 people know.
For confidentiality purposes, I will not reveal my details but I’ll explain it as much as I can.
While everyone’s life experiences are different, I hope people can take my life story as an example of how bad life can truly be and have the patience to turn their life around.
I was born to a family of 4, to a divorced couple. After their divorce, my mom made it her goal to hurt and humiliate my dad.
With that in her mind, she sold all her jewelry (worth around $25,000) and OUR house (which was in our name as in her kids and worth around millions by today’s market value) and moved us into some Arab country and bought a visa for some dude whom she later on married.
But Dad did follow her to that country. I think her decisions that were based on emotions messed her up. While in this ‘Arab’ country, she abused the fuck out of us, physically and mentally. The physical abuse went on from I was 4 or 5 till I was around 18 years old but the mental abuse is still going on.
Physical abuse is by far the worst thing I ever experienced in my life. At first, because I was small in size she’d just pick me up and throw me around and I’d just run or hide under the chairs while she continued to hit my older siblings.
But when I reached around 7 years old the intensity increased. She’d strip us naked and use electric wires to hurt us. She’d hit us with a wooden bar so much that I remember that it was hard to even stand after being hit but my siblings would help me stand because we were not allowed to sit when she was ‘angry’. She’d punch us, kick us in the guts, bite us, scratch our face and body, she’d starve us for a day and all these are the stuff that I remember to this day. This happened at least twice weekly.
When I was in high school she once heard that I and my classmates were playing with water and she entered my classroom when there was no teacher and she used her flip flops as a ‘slap machine’ so much that I had marks on my face.
At first we’d blame each other for her getting ‘angry’ like why didn’t one of you fix the house, or why were you all loud but later on we got to the conclusion that we were just normal kids and that she was mentally ‘not correct’.
So many nights I slept crying like a little girl, so many nights I cursed at God for creating me, so many times we told dad about her hitting us but he was raised without a mother and in his perspective, a bad mother is still better than no mother at all so he just told us to be strong and brave. Now I know that he was just a selfish bastard who wanted to marry and fuck whomever he wanted and we’d get in the way of that.
I’ve tried to kill myself so many times but I just couldn’t take that last step still don’t know why. And thank God that I didn’t because after seeing ’13 reasons why’ on Netflix, I now realize that I can just choose to not allow what life throws at me to get to me, and now, my new plan in life is to get filthy rich and help kids all over the world who are suffering from parental abuse.
I hate my parents and I wish them well because their demise will not come from me but from their own making.
I will never forget or forgive them.
Thanks for the life lessons mom and dad, I know you’ll both go to hell for what you’ve done.